Be All There (Part Dos)
Yesterday didn’t start off the greatest. Baby girl woke up at 1 am throwing up. We gave her some Motrin to get her fever down, but it didn’t seem like anything we should take her in for. (To all those wondering, the stuffed kitty kat came out of the wash just fine.) Didn’t sleep much—and when I did, it was usually next to the crib or some such…
When we all finally woke up, she didn’t have a fever, but she still wasn’t acting right. Since we were going to visit great- and great-great-grandparents, it seemed like the best idea to take her to the doctor—just to make sure.
After an hour of poking, prodding, finger pricking, flu testing, and a chest x-ray (which is a miserable experience on babies), it was concluded that it was an ear infection (again), but that she was safe to be around the “immunocompromised”.
We left town 6 hours later than planned (so much for meeting friends for lunch on the way).
This isn’t just a gripe story. There’s a reason I tell this.
Back when we decided to get pregnant (because yes, she was planned), I made the conclusion that my job in my children’s’ lives is to be Mom—not “Doctor”.
It could have been very easy for me to turn my pregnancy into a science project. The creation of life is truly a fascinating thing—and I actually (unlike many of my peers) enjoy learning about all of the processes and such that occur after conception.
Maybe some people can integrate the two successfully, but I wanted my child to feel my love, not just my detached fascination.
Sure, when she’s sick, I make educated decisions about what to do for her (I can’t just turn my brain off—that would be a waste).
But when I tried to look in her ears yesterday, and she wasn’t real thrilled about it, I didn’t fight her.
I would rather pay a co-pay and be her rescuer.
Now—this doesn’t just apply to my relationship with my baby. Again, sure, if someone asks me my opinion, I’ll talk to you about medicine all day long.
But, as hard as it is not to pick a fight when someone posts some ridiculous health suggestion on facebook—I may give my two cents if it’s appropriate—but other than that, I refrain. Why?
My priority in those situations is to be Stephanie—not Student Doctor Letney.
My husband doesn’t want me to rag him about medical junk either. Sure, we talk about it at times. But it’s not my primary relationship with him.
Same goes the other way, too. When I’m at school or in some sort of professional situation, I know you don’t care about my thoughts on parenting or God or family. You just want me to do my job.
And again, if you ask, I will definitely talk to you about it. If we have a relationship built where it’s appropriate, it may come up.
Wherever you are, be all there.
“Well I’m a stay-at-home mom, so this doesn’t really apply to me!”
Your husband probably doesn’t want to be mothered around by you.
Neither do your friends.
Again, I’m talking to myself.
Just a thought.